The purpose of life and the four Pursharthas

As I was thinking of retirement and the life post retirement the question - what is the purpose of life kept bothering me. In this process of thinking I was nudged to focus on the four Pursharthas and the four Ashrams that we are expected to go thru as per the Hindu way of life. Lot of inputs for this thinking came from the spiritual experiences that I went thru during the Pandharpur Wari and the reading of Bhagwat as I returned.

Ancient seers in India have very clearly articulated the purpose of life as “attainment of Moksha”. We in India have heard the terms Dharma, Artha, Kama and Moksha several times since our childhood; however the exact meaning and the linkage of these terms were never very clear.

Thru my on process of reflections I have made an attempt to establish these linkages. While I was diving deep in to the meaning and the purpose of these terms I also tried to link them to the four Ashrams that we are expected to go thru. These linkages were crucial to me since it was difficult for me look at the Wanaprastha Ashram or for that matter any stage of life separate from the four Pursharthas. Once these linkages were established it became clear to me on what one focuses at each stage and how to ensure our ultimate objective of Moksha is not diluted or ignored.

Before we talk of these linkages a brief summary on the four Pursharthas is given below. More reflections on each of these will be in my next blogs.

 Dharma:

This is all about the righteous behaviour that we are expected to exhibit. This is all about the norms, the code of conduct, etc.

Dharma deals with duties and responsibilities that human beings have. This term also deals with ethics, moralities, truthfulness, etc.  It will therefore be seen that Dharma becomes the foundation for the life. Dharma acts as a regulator; it provides the frame work within which we must live.

Artha:

This is all about the wealth creation, earning money, this all about the acquisition of the property, and other material possessions, etc.  This is all about worldly prosperity. Money is an essential ingredient for survival and fulfilment of the fundamental needs of a human being.

Kama:

Kama is all about fulfilment of desires. These desires could be in multiple areas: sexual, power, recognition, comforts, good food, right homes, all types of possessions etc. The urge to enjoy pleasures and satisfy the desires, is the most powerful force within all the human beings.

Moksha:

The ultimate reason for our birth and the life we live is to attain the Moksha. This is the final liberation or Nirvana. This can happen after getting the freedom from the bondages of our deeds or our Karmas, after we conquer all our desires. Beyond moksha human beings have nothing more to attain. It is the stage where man’s cravings cease and along with that the need for further attainments also ceases. It is all about waking up of human consciousness at the highest level of reality.

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As mentioned earlier the table below establishes the linkages and may be simplifies our understanding on the interconnections between the stages of life and the Pursharthas. In our pursuit of worldly glories and pleasures some where we forget the purpose of our lives.

Phase of life	Areas for focus	Fundamental guiding force
Vidyarthi dasha. The foundational years.	Acquisition of knowledge, capabilities and skills necessary to become a strong and independent human being. Here the focus is on building the basics which will enable a person become a good citizen.	Bramhacharya Acquire knowledge Acquire capabilities Acquire skills Understand the “Dharma”
Gruhastha ashram. Life of a householde.	Pursuit of Artha and Kama. Fulfilment of worldly desires, so that you are freed to pursue the higher goal of Moksha.	Be a “Karma yogi” Support the society, build / support the institutions, Build a family, & create the progeny. Manage / control the evils illustrated below.
Wanaprastha ashram. The life of a retired individual	Give-up power, position and controls both on domestic as well as the professional front. Freedom from worldly bondages. Be available to advise, support, counsel, as required. Contributing back – selflessly to the society in the chosen areas.	Conquer the evils: Kama, krodha, moh, mad, matsar and Lobh. Do not allow new desires to enter your thoughts, preparation for Moksha.
Sanyast ashram	Spiritual practices leading to Moksha.	Bramhacharya
For all our life pursuits & to live with purpose in the four stages of life we should depend on the foundation of “Dharma”

In my next few blogs my personal reflections and understanding of the terms Dharma, Artha, Kama and Moksha are illustrated. These blog posts will be published in next few days. Keep looking for them.

Disclaimer: The picture is downloaded from Google Images.

Reflections on Retirement- Life post superannuation

As I stepped in to my fifties, the concept of retirement and the life after that was a topic that occupied my mind a lot which led me to think more on what is this concept of Retirement. As a HR professional, I must have dealt with several hundred people as they reached the age of superannuation. I must have done a lot of counselling and coaching to these people on financial planning and importance of keeping busy post retirement. However, the real meaning of the term retirement was always unclear except that, you stop working, quit your current employment and move to the next phase of life. Many definitions on what retirement is all about are available on several web sites and in several books; none of them gave me a satisfactory answer. What that next phase of life is was never clear. I always knew that retirement was not simply stopping the work but what was that new work was always unclear.

What was happening within me?

My own reflections on what was happening to me are most probably indicative of what must be happening to many people of my age group with of course some differences. These changes in me were clearly indicative of the need to change in to the next phase of life. Some changes that I experienced:

1.    Not having the same mental agility and mental stamina to do the operational tasks or routine work that I was otherwise very good at.

2.    I was losing interest in the active professional life that is full of time lines, execution schedules, pressures of performance, commitments that have to be met, etc.  

3.    Over time I developed new hobbies that are focused on physical fitness like trekking, walking, jogging, etc.

4.    I also developed new interests that are mainly spiritual in nature. I plunge a lot in these areas and therefore I am unable to keep pace with the professional reading, leading to my inability to keep professionally updated.

5.    Somewhere I was also not being diligent in my work, the way I used to be in the past which is mainly due to the lack of interest in those activities, leading to inadequate application of mind. I believe I was moving away from being details oriented person to being more holistic and strategic which is not a bad idea but without being details oriented it does not work in professional world.

6.    As I am getting older I have also realized that I was becoming more and more inclusive and open about the social, cultural, religious and political issues. The areas I was never very good at. I started taking more interest in these areas.

7.    I was however becoming more and more inflexible in the professional sphere, maybe, I was developing certain idiosyncrasies, may be developing strong opinions, etc. If not managed well, I knew it will quickly lead to my losing flexibility and adaptability that is so very crucial for the successful work life.

I guess, I was going thru a process of aging which can easily be well managed by taking up right vocations commensurate with the new interests, the new aptitude, new realities of physical fitness, and the changing times.

 I knew for sure that, time has come for me to move in to “Wanaprastha Ashram” phase. This will also mean to get disconnected from routine and just be available to family, society and the profession, if and when needed. This means longer time devoted for meditation, longer meditative morning walks, attending right sat-sang forums, participate in the discourses from the learned people, etc. coupled with right reading and discussions with the like-minded people and most importantly -  just being with myself.

Like most other Indians I did hear from the very young age the concept of the four stages of life namely:

1.    Bramhacharya Ashram or the period when you are a student,

2.    Gruhastha Ashram wherein you are a householder,

3.    Wanaprastha Ashram wherein you fade away from power, position and be available to the society and lastly

4.    Sanyast Ashram wherein you truly become a sanyasi.

I guess since so called educated people like us read a lot and can talk a lot on these topics over cocktails, I must have also done lot of talking, but I guess those were very superfluous talks without much of thinking.

I observed many of my friends and the relatives who had superannuated from their careers. The purpose was to learn from them on how to lead a life of a senior citizen. In most cases I observed that post retirement these physically and mentally fit colleagues and friends were supporting their families. In modern days the dual income families are a reality. I saw my friends supporting their grandchildren by baby sitting and management of the household of their children while the young couples were at work and the young grandchildren are at home and have to be taken care of. Most of the conversations with these senior citizens are just the same as they used to be when I was young and a new father. The topics are around school admissions, helping in the homework, problems and issues with young children, how to drop the children in to schools, need for tutions, coaching classes, how the education system is deteriorating, our times vs. new times, in some cases about diaper changing, etc. Conversations with the friends of Mugdha (my wife), are all about the old age issues of pain in the knees / back, Blood pressure and diabetes and in spite of all that, how these senior women have to manage the maids, the young grandchildren, etc. Conversations with affluent entrepreneur friends who are senior citizens are all about the succession issues, helping the young heirs succeed the division of enterprise / property, and related topics.

I quickly discovered that in reality none of my senior citizen friends had retired, actually they were doing all those things which they did as young couple. While they were young, they worked to bring up their own children and now they were working to bring up the grandchildren. I quickly discovered that presence of the grandparents in the family is no more a “highly desirable need” of the modern society but has become “must have need” thanks to the double income nuclear families. The thought of Retirement was therefore not very interesting; in fact it was frightening – I certainly did not want to do what I did 30 years back, actually what I am expected to do now is much more than what I did while I was young. Other thoughts like going on long vacations, indulging a bit in things that I never did, may be just idle around, etc. were certainly appealing but not necessarily satisfying.

While I was crossing the milestone of 60, this thought of what is retirement and what is life after that became far more predominant. This led me to do some more reading, some talking to wise people and some more introspection. Some ideas that emerged as a result of this “vichar-manthan” are illustrated below.

What is Retirement?

With the passage of time our own relevance in the professional world to which we belonged for 3 to 4 decades starts diminishing for the reasons illustrated above, which is a very natural phenomenon. As we grow older, we become better at something and start losing out on some things which we were otherwise very good at. We have to fully understand that this is a process of evolution and not necessarily aging, we have to become very comfortable with it. Intellectually I knew all this, but still, the real meaning of the term retirement was not yet clear and what do I do, after the retirement was still a big question.

Based on some interesting spiritual experiences that I went through during Pandharpur Wari, Satsang with few learned people, and some literature that I came across, the real meaning of retirement dawned on me. The Sanskrit word for Retirement is Nivrutti which means - Separated from the world. A deeper insight to the term - Nivrutta (retired person) is - he/she who has conquered the worldly or materialistic six evil tendencies like:

1. Kam – Lust, all types of Wasanas or desires
2. Krodh – Rage, anger
3. Moh / maya / mamata – attachments of all types: towards children, property, position / status, etc
4. Mad – Ego or Ahankar
5. Matsar – Envy
6. Lobh - Greed

I liked this definition of the term retirement or Nivrutti. Now, to me, the term Retirement or moving to the Wanaprastha Ashram has a completely new meaning. Now I know why our ancestors gave importance to this phase of life which is crucial before we can think of Sanyast Ashram. In this post retirement Wanaprastha phase of the life we have to remain focused on conquering these six evils that were otherwise an integral part of our lives in smaller or bigger proportion. Not an easy task, but one has to relentlessly work on this. This has to be coupled with the fulfilment of the five Runas or debts that we have.

More about these six evils of the illusionary materialistic world of maya and the five debts and the Wanaprastha ashram as understood by me in the next blogs.

Disclaimer: Some of the images in this post are downloaded from Google Images

Pearls of wisdom compiled on my 60th birthday

These pearls are gathered over last 60 years and compiled for sharing with my children, however I decided to share them with every one, since my friends and colleagues who read this, liked them and encouraged me to make it available to the larger audience.

September 08, 2012



These pearls are collected from several sources. They have influenced me a lot, and I am still trying to internalize many of them and practice them to the extent I can.

While some may be original thoughts, most of them are the thoughts of wise people passed down to us over several centuries. Credit for these thoughts certainly can’t go to any one individual.

“A” Your mind

1. Take out the clutter from your mind: Clutter blocks the free flow of your energy and therefore creativity. Cobwebs in your mind need to be cleared if you want to do something meaningful. Just relax and remove the trash. It is blocking free and easy flow of energy that you have within you. Cluttering of mind happens due to several reasons. Just learn to live in “here and now.”
2. You are in charge: You are the commander in chief of your own happiness and agonies. No one in this world can make you happy or sad. Mental states of happiness or joy or sorrow are our own constructs. Don’t worry about what others think of you or will do for you. Always remember you live your own life. What others think of you or will do for you is none of your business. Just be yourself. Have minimal expectations from others. Focus on what you can do for others rather than what they should do for you.

3.    Fill your mind with positive energy: Don't ever have negative thoughts, instead invest your energy in the positives. Negative thoughts lead to self destruction while positive thoughts are always constructive. Positive relaxed self that is comfortable, is a powerhouse of creativity and happiness that follows.

4. What you want has no limits: No matter what and how much you get, your mind will always ask for more. There is no limit to success, wealth, name, fame and luxuries. Some where we have to stop and say this is enough. Just learn to draw a line. Those who can’t draw such lines are generally very frustrated with themselves and with the world. In any case the definition of success is made by you. Review the same from time to time on the foundation of realism, your own aptitudes and interests. Listen to the inner calls or voice of the “Antarman” or your own soul.

“B” Learn to become comfortable with yourself:

1. Live in the present: Make peace with the past – if not, it will spoil the today. Plan for the future but live in “here and now”. Don’t indulge in “day dreaming”. It is such a waste. Ambition is not day dreaming. Ambition always creates energy and ultimately leads to plans and actions for today, that lead you to your desired goals. Today well spent will ensure good future.
2. Do not envy any one: Comparisons don’t help. You are where you are, basis your own past actions (Karma). You can also reach the heights – it all depends on your own actions (Karma). Each one of us has a different destiny which is a product of our actions and desires. Comparisons with others are futile. Envy is a very negative and dysfunctional energy that comes to us from the comparisons and from feeling of being deprived. Just come out of it.
3. Anything is possible: We are all human beings with humongous possibilities and potential. We can achieve what we desire if we are focused and put in the right efforts. Just become passionate. Someone will be ahead, some will be behind, but surely we will all reach our goals once we start walking the path with full determination.
4. Problems come and go: Problems are inevitable part of the life. Don’t try to run away from them. Learn to deal with them directly, quickly and completely. Problems look like problems because you don’t have a solution. Go to the root cause, consult experts / wise people. You will find the solutions. Once you know the solution any situation is not a problem. Learn to deal with each, with a bunch of appropriate actions.

“C” Your habits: 

1. Indulge in lifelong learning: Learn something new every day. Experiment something new every day. Life is all about exploring / discovering and learning. It is also about unlearning what is wrong and or irrelevant at a point of time. Don’t be dogmatic or fanatic at any time – just develop an open mind. You can’t learn / adopt anything new unless you give up something from the past. Just learn to challenge yourself on a regular basis. Our beliefs are not necessarily right, our experiences are never complete, and our knowledge has its own limitations. Don’t take positions. Become a lifelong explorer.
2. You can’t win every time, you can’t be right every time: Learn to accept others. Everyone has a set of unique experiences, knowledge and beliefs and based on that, one develops a definite point of view. Lot to learn from every one. Debates are always a good idea – not arguments. Learn to disagree and keep moving with grace and dignity. Develop joy from contributing and learning something new every day. We learn a lot from others.
3. Action orientation: In long run this helps. Become a fire ball of energy. No matter how you feel, just get up, freshen up and dress up. Get in to action – even if the action may mean – just sitting in a quiet corner & meditating, just reading some good book, helping others or simply going for a long walk or doing your own work. Remember, inaction is the biggest killer of both the mind as well as body.
4. Do not procrastinate: Procrastination is one of the worst habits. We like to do what we enjoy most, and there is nothing wrong in that. However in the process we keep postponing those things which we don’t enjoy doing. This leads to multiple problems. First do those things that are very important but you don’t enjoy doing them, then focus on things that are important and you enjoy doing them. Next in order is nice to do things that you don’t enjoy doing and last in order are nice to do things that you enjoy.  
5. Physical fitness: Your body is a temple in which your soul resides. Your soul is a reflection of God. Take care of your physical fitness. Develop right habits. Always remember - healthy mind can reside only in a healthy body. Eat well, sleep well, and ensure right exercises, enough rest. Just develop a sustainable regime for yourself.
6. Remove the clutter from your surrounding: “Cleanliness is godliness” this is the Mantra. Ensure clean, neat and tidy surroundings. This ensures ease, comfort, relaxation and positivity. Cluttered environment and unwanted things just create negativity. Anything that you are not likely to use or have not used in last 12 months is not required by you. Give it away / just scrap it. This is just carrying dust and dirt apart from creating negativity in your surroundings.
7. Be minimalistic in your physical possessions: Acquire just enough to lead a happy life. Give up what you are not likely to use or need. Materials which are not necessary create negative energy. Do not hoard. Give up every material possession that you don’t need. Anything that is of no use should not be with you. There is no limit to acquiring materials of pleasure, leisure and comfort. Never hold or hoard.

“D” Focus on spiritualism, don't be just ritualistc:

1. Remember God: There is only one God. You may call him by any name and see him in any form. He is always with you. Learn to recognize him. Learn to thank him for what he has given to you. Just surrender full heartedly and completely. Depend on him for the guidance and protection. When he is with you why worry? Just become fearless. God is a friend – “become God loving and not God fearing.”
2. Pray without expectations: Don’t ask any specifics. You don’t know what is right for you. Just pray for happiness and fulfillment of your soul. Unconditional love and faith is a must.
3. Be humble and develop humility: That is the first step to being spiritual. Be proud of whom you are, become comfortable with your own self; however it is critical that you are humble and modest at the same time. Arrogance and “I know it all” attitude, is the beginning of a decline. None of us are perfect; each one of us have humongous scope for improvement. Be surrounded by people who are wiser / better than you. These people will ensure that your ego is kept under check and at the same time you keep learning a lot from them.
4. Don’t be ritualistic: Rituals and religious dictates are the foundation for moving towards being spiritual. In the initial phase rituals help you in disciplining yourself. Religious dictates help you develop some guiding principles. As you progress come out of these, just focus your mind on the almighty and become spiritually evolved. Don’t be the slave of rituals; these are means to an end and not the end in themselves.

“E” Dealing with others:

1. Don’t gossip: Such a waste of time. Think and lead the life with big thoughts aimed at larger good. Always remember - "Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people” - Eleanor Roosevelt.
2. Don’t dislike / criticize any one: No one is right or wrong. No one is good or bad. Each one of us behaves based on our own points of view and basis our own limited exposure and references. All of us live in a very small world of our own. We have our own reasons for what we do. Just try to understand the others, learn to empathize and understand where they come from. If you are uncomfortable with some people just step aside, avoid them, don’t hate or don’t dislike or get annoyed by them. They are just different, not your type, that does not mean they are wrong or bad.
3. Celebrate the differences: All of us are born under various unique circumstances. Each one of is different with our own unique strengths and our own unique needs for improvements. Each one of us is different – age, physique, color of the skin, shape of the body, the features, the wealth, the talents, the aptitudes the circumstances, interests and the personal objectives. Differences should be celebrated; the world is able to function effectively because we bring complimentary capabilities and diverse points of views. Each one of us is valuable and important. Accept the realities and become inclusive.
4. Don’t manipulate / pressurize any one:  Live and let live. Never ever pressurize any one, never ever manipulate any one. In the same breath I will say – never get pressurized from anyone and never ever get manipulated by any one. While each one of us has to make certain compromises, we should never get pushed against a wall. Exercise your freedom to make choices. Ensure you lead a principled life which is values based. Never get blackmailed from any one.
5. Think well and act well: Think about the wellbeing of everyone and think about doing good acts beneficial to others. Think for the larger good. Your thoughts, your conscious and your mind have to be pure and truthful. Your thoughts are more powerful than your actions (Karma). First clean them up and develop lofty ideals.

6.    Forgive and forget: Forgive everyone for everything. Don’t carry feelings of resentment, hatred, grudge, ill will, bitterness and animosity. This only breeds negativity. Life is short – try and live in a positive purposeful environment that is full of camaraderie that leads to constructive activities, joy and happiness.

“F” You and your Community:

 

You are in debt: We owe a lot to the social system and the nature. We are what we are due to the excellent support systems created by the Government, social and cultural institutions, Educational institutions, Commercial and Business enterprises, religious and spiritual organizations and most importantly the Nature. We are also indebted to the gurus, the sieges, the scientists, the thinkers, the ancestors who created and transferred knowledge and wisdom to us.  We have several debts to repay. Be grateful to the whole system. Repay & nurture what you can.

1. Be a good citizen: You are part of a very large ecosystem. Be a good citizen. Follow the ethical and moral norms. Ensure excellent character. Be a law abiding citizen. Remember we are not just I, me and my immediate family and friends. We are part of a much larger world. Remember we are in a symbiotic relationship with every constituent in this universe. Don’t be a parasite; keep creating value for the others. Learn to receive as well as give. It is a world that thrives on the inter-dependence.
2. One good act a day: Even if it just means smiling at someone, giving someone a helping hand, recognizing and acknowledging some one’s good work, or just sharing a good thought or an idea with someone. Just touch the heart of someone each day. Each one of us has some strength that can be put to use to help someone. Remember all of us are the children of “one God”; you may call him by any name or see him in any form. Love / give / support every one – unconditionally. Start sharing; start giving. This gives true happiness.
3. Develop strengths: Before you give, become capable of giving. Weak people can’t help anyone. Each one of us has something to give – Money if you have saved, or just the physical help if you are physically strong, or knowledge if you have acquired the same, psychological support if you are emotionally strong yourself. So in order to give, first earn, become strong.  Give only to the deserving people with an open heart without expecting anything in return
4. Don’t be selfish and greedy: It is always a good idea to have larger than life goals, rather than narrow or selfish objectives that are full of me and my-self. Know the purpose of your life. Endeavor to move to the next higher orbit.

Dare to become extraordinary, be a trailblazer if you can

Most people walk on the beaten paths; they do what everyone does. Since they follow the well laid down paths, they don’t get noticed, and there is nothing wrong with that. If you have chosen to be like every one - that’s your choice.

However, if you want to be extraordinary you will have to do extraordinary things (things that others don’t dare to do) and for that you need the courage and the conviction. This needs to be supported by the wisdom, the character and the positive actions. Extraordinary people are not necessarily popular, but are certainly respected. Focus on becoming a respected person and not on becoming a popular person. 

Disclaimer: Images in this post are downloaded from Google Images