Kama one of the purpose of life

Kama sutra, is probably one of the most read and is probably one the most popular books of all times. Because of this books popularity, the word Kama is invariably associated with sex.
This leads to confusion as to why one of the objectives of the life as illustrated in the four Pursharthas is Kama? One of my friends raised this question and very rightly so  – “Vivek one of the thing amazes me is, our Indian Philosophy encourages Pursharthas (Dharma, Artha, Kama, Moksha) but why on the other hand Kama is to be shunned as part of six evils- Is this a dichotomy or an aberration?

Kama is a positive source of energy:

Similar question also bothered me in the past; however the explanation that I have found is very acceptable to me and needs to be shared with larger audience. Kama is not about the Sex alone. This term encompasses all the worldly desires (sex being just one of them). Human desires or Kama is a very potent force that leads to most of the actions and endeavors of mankind. Kama per say can be a very positive force if the mind, body and soul work in unison and make a positive usage of this “energy of desires, impulses and aspirations”. Behind our will power and actions there has to be a strong desire, a strong passion and a very good reason. Kama is all about that.

Kama per say is therefore not a negative term and should not be mixed up with the sex alone. Kama leads to “Karma or actions”. Kama or desires can be of multiple types for example: desire to acquire skills and knowledge, love and affection for even children which gets classified as “mamata”, desire to acquire wealth, desire to progress in life, desire to do research, desire to excel and make significant contributions in a chosen field or vocation, desire to leave behind a legacy, desire to get married and create a family, etc. Such desires in mankind have ensured the progress of humanity. The period of the Gruhastha ashram is to be dedicated to the fulfillment of such desires within the frame work of Dharma about which we talked about in the earlier blog post.

The suppressed desires are wasanas, they do surface unconsciously and create problems:

Wasana is another term which is highly misunderstood. Wasana means all those desires that are suppressed within us or are bottled-up, curbed and are latent in the minds. It is these bottled-up desires which make people do unpredictable things - unconsciously. In Hindu way of life, we believe that it is these curbed or latent desires that cause us to get a rebirth. Hence in the Hindu philosophy we never talk of suppression of desires we talk of management of desires. This means question your desires, challenge them and learn to channelize them, contain them rather than suppress them. 

There is nothing wrong in fulfilling all those desires which do not cause harm to others, which do not come in to the way of your own spiritual growth, which do not lead to compulsive or addictive behaviors. The most important principle being these desires and the fulfillment process has to be within the frame work of the Dharma tenets. The most important thing - the desire fulfillment process should not lead to imbalance in life and should also not lead to the imbalance of body, mind and soul about which we will deal with, in the next few blogs. Hindus have recognized the need for fulfillment of all the legitimate and natural desires of human beings. People however have to remain focused not only on the desires but also continuously evaluate the appropriateness of the process of their fulfillment.

Desires have no limits and the fulfillment process may not be right:

Let us talk of a simple desire like - I wish to visit Singapore, I have never seen this place. There is nothing wrong with this desire; it is very much within the boundaries of Dharma. If the desire is strong one works to save the money and is able to visit Singapore. Now another desire may come up – I want to live in Singapore – another legitimate and acceptable desire. Now with this new desire if it is compelling - one will start working towards fulfillment.  The process of fulfilling such a desire may lead the person to do things that are not necessarily bound by the tenets of Dharma. When questioned the person having such a desire may always justify saying he is just fulfilling a reasonable legitimate desire which is not against the religious tenets or Dharma.

In the quest of fulfillment of desires several people just burn out themselves. They may even dwell in to several undesirable actions. All of us are bound by the pros and cons of our own Karmas or actions. For everything that happens to us in this birth, or in the next birth, has a definite cause and the same is created by our own karmas or actions and most of our actions or Karmas are aimed at fulfillment of our desires..

The problem with the desire fulfillment process is, it has no end point. As one desire gets fulfilled, another set of desires take birth. In this illusionary world (Maya) the human beings keep creating several means of comforts, entertainment and temptations. The nature also creates several attractions. By the time you are thru with one, the other comes-up. We have to learn to deliberately draw a line somewhere and say – “so far and no further”. Enlightened clairvoyant souls have realized the futility of fulfilling the desires, the continuous birth of new desires and the pros and cons of actions that lead to fulfillment of the same. These enlightened souls therefore reach a stage wherein their mind gets focused on the Parma-atman or the creator, the God, and not on the worldly pleasures.

Kama is the reality:

For most of us who are part of the materialistic world the concept of getting detached from the desires of the life is very difficult to manage. We get so much attached to the worldly things, materials, possessions, people, near and dear once, position, power, wealth, etc that some time on the way we forget the ultimate purpose of our lives. 

We can however make an attempt.  If we understand that non fulfillment of desires / expectations is the cause of frustrations, envy, anger and negativity of all types, it becomes a good beginning. One should start questioning everything that comes to our minds, start challenging the desirability of our newly born and the latent desires. This in itself is half battle won. One should also start thinking of the process of fulfillment of chosen few desires and start testing the process with our own capabilities, aptitude, the road blocks and the methods to overcome the same, this in turn should be tested with the tenets of the Dharma. Such a process will ensure we focus on critical few and we manage and contain what is not desirable. We have to accept that happiness does not come from the fulfillment of desires, it comes from being comfortable with your-self, it comes from sharing and giving – refer to my first blog on Pearls of Wisdom.

Human beings should live a complete life - Upanishads

This means:

 A life that is Soundaryapurna or Beautiful. Most of the wise persons looking at your life should say that this is a beautiful balanced life. Beauty referred here is the internal or intrinsic beauty of your personality & the achievements you made in your life. Beauty of your values, love and compassion with humbleness.

A life that is Sukhamaya or full of Happiness. Happiness coming from the inner self and this should not be confused with pleasure, joy or fun, which are short term.

  

A life that is Tejomaya or full of brightness or aura that you acquire. Aura or Tej  comes from several sources.

1. Due to Knowledge you acquire and share with others
2. Due to Contributions you make
3. Due to Spiritual development  the serenity or Satvikta that you develop.

A life that is Parakrami: The challenges that you take, your  accomplishments, significant contributions that you make to the society in a chosen field, significant road blocks that you bust – all for the right causes.

Artha and Moksha:

Up till now we have dealt with Dharma and the Kama. Artha and Moksha are the other two Pursharthas, about which we will talk about in the next two blog posts over one week.

Disclaimer: The pictures in this post are downloaded from Google images.

The concept of “Dharma” – my reflections

In my earlier blog-post I talked about the purpose of life and the Dharma being the foundation for everything that we should be doing in the life. Today I will talk about the meaning of the term Dharma as understood by me.

Considerable confusion existed in my mind about the difference between the term Religion and the word Dharma. Some understanding that I developed: There is no synonymous term to the word Religion in the Eastern Languages. Religion as we understand is a western concept. The term Dharma is all about the guidelines and the code of conduct that a person is expected to follow. These guidelines as articulated by our ancient seers are for various stages of life. Really speaking these guidelines are the frame work for the way of life.

I am not an expert on religions, however from what I understand similar guidelines or the philosophical foundations exist in all the religions. These religions do differ from each other on superfluous plains – dress codes, symbol, rituals, food habits etc. However the foundational philosophical tenets are very similar in all the religions. Many of the religions that have survived and blossomed for several centuries, these  would not have been in existence if they were fundamentally against building a sound social fabric and code of ethics and conduct that are close to human values. Human beings are same all over the world and they are glued on to very similar human values.

Dharma to me is a way of life and not some religious dictate:

Dharma to me is all about the righteous behavior that we are expected to exhibit. This is all about the norms, the purity of life. Dharma can be described by many people in many different ways. For me it simply means: Sat-sang, Sat karma, Sat bhavana and Sat vichar. Let me illustrate my understanding of these terms:

1.    Sat-sang: Ensuring we always remain in the company of wise / good people from whom we can learn and get guided. Sat means truth, pure, clean. This term therefore tells us to avoid the company of wrong / evil people who can make negative impact on us. This is all about right associations. Ask yourself – Are you always associated with good human beings who are positive, who have good character and those who are value creators. Refer to my first blog on Pearls of wisdom.

2.    Sat-bhavana: This is all about ensuring we always have pure heart and complete absence of evil within us. Bhavana is all about imaginations, sentiments, feelings, fancies, susceptibilities. These have to be pure.

3.    Sat-vichar: This is all about purity of thoughts that are not evil, not negative. It is believed that thoughts are as powerful or may be more powerful than the actions. If we are full of negative thoughts our actions will also become negative.

4.    Sat-karma: This is all about good deeds, the work that is aimed at larger good, the one that is aimed at helping the society, needy and the one that has no malice or selfish interests. It is all about selfless virtuous actions.

Dharma is all about duties:

The term Dharma is all also about the duties that arise from the four ashrams. Some of the duties also come to us from the roles we perform or the profession to which we belong to, for example if I am a teacher, it is my dharma to ensure right efforts are made in a self-less fashion to create and disseminate knowledge in such a way that my students are benefited. No compromises are expected in this process. It is all about putting in the heart and soul and endeavor to excel. Dharma also deals with ethics, moralities, truthfulness, etc. 

Dharma is all about repaying the five debts:

 

Dharma also deals with the duties and the same are illustrated thru the concept of debts in the Indian Philosophy. The debts that we need to repay while we live are illustrated below. These Runas or debts also indicate the purpose of our life.

Type of Debt or Runa	How to repay the debt?
Rishi Runa: Debt from the learned. They are the Gurus, the scientists, the spiritual leaders, the researchers, the thinkers. They gave us wisdom and knowledge.	Lifelong learning with an open mind. Financially or thru service - help / support institutions of learning. Create new knowledge, challenge and rediscover, invent. Sharing is critical.  Aim at becoming a coach / teacher for those who need the knowledge – share what you know.
Dev Runa: Debt from the Devatas. In Hindu way of life a Devata is not the creator or God as understood by the western thought. God is Param Atma or the Bramhan. The Devatwa is a pravrutti or tendency. Those who are divine, do good work for humanity are considered as Deva-swarup or God like, and are therefore called Devas.	How to repay their debt?  Actions that support  / nurtures the work of good human beings. Help, be compassionate, love & support the needy. Become the source of motivation and joy to the depressed. This also includes service & support to the people who are like God. In short become like a Devata or become like God.
Pitru Runa: Debt from ancestors, elders, and parents. They gave us the culture, education & everything that we have including the physical body.	Ensure respect & care for the elders. Nurture & protect the heritage - culture, traditions & arts. Find the meaning behind everything, reject what is not right and relevant at a point of time and accept what is right and relevant. Pass on the heritage to the next generation – ensure continuity.
Bhut Runa: Debt from nature. Focus is on the environment – both living and non-living. In this term Hindu way of life looks at all the elements of nature and environment as Devatas. We worship Warun-dev, Agni-dev, Sun, moon and planets. We also worship animals who are useful to human beings.	Learn to live in harmony with the nature. Use it to the minimum, conserve and nurture. This Debt is all about environmental protection and conservation of flora, fauna and the related areas.
Samaj Runa: Debt from society. Social systems & governance are necessary for human survival. They provide support system, security, education, & means of livelihood. They ensure social fabric. Some examples: cultural centres, charitable institutions, Government institutions, industries that create an engine for prosperity, employment and growth etc.	Find opportunities to contribute to social causes - financially & thru service. Uphold & champion legal & social framework necessary to maintain & improve society. Ensure material pursuits, create new economic engines, lead / support social reforms, work for weaker sections & be a champion for their rights. This is also about becoming excellent citizens of the society where we live in.

It will therefore be seen that Dharma becomes the foundation for the life. Dharma acts as a regulator. All our actions in the life have to be guided by the fundamental principles of Dharma. Our pursuits of Kama and Artha have to be in the framework of Dharma.

Readers may refer to my first blog on “Pearls of Wisdom”. These pearls or guidelines or the frame work, has no religious connotation, it is all about the “code of conduct” that I articulated and I am urging my children to follow. To me that is like Dharma.

My next blog will deal with the concept of "Kama". This will be published in next 3/4 days.

Disclaimer: The images in this blog post are downloaded from Google images

The purpose of life and the four Pursharthas

As I was thinking of retirement and the life post retirement the question - what is the purpose of life kept bothering me. In this process of thinking I was nudged to focus on the four Pursharthas and the four Ashrams that we are expected to go thru as per the Hindu way of life. Lot of inputs for this thinking came from the spiritual experiences that I went thru during the Pandharpur Wari and the reading of Bhagwat as I returned.

Ancient seers in India have very clearly articulated the purpose of life as “attainment of Moksha”. We in India have heard the terms Dharma, Artha, Kama and Moksha several times since our childhood; however the exact meaning and the linkage of these terms were never very clear.

Thru my on process of reflections I have made an attempt to establish these linkages. While I was diving deep in to the meaning and the purpose of these terms I also tried to link them to the four Ashrams that we are expected to go thru. These linkages were crucial to me since it was difficult for me look at the Wanaprastha Ashram or for that matter any stage of life separate from the four Pursharthas. Once these linkages were established it became clear to me on what one focuses at each stage and how to ensure our ultimate objective of Moksha is not diluted or ignored.

Before we talk of these linkages a brief summary on the four Pursharthas is given below. More reflections on each of these will be in my next blogs.

 Dharma:

This is all about the righteous behaviour that we are expected to exhibit. This is all about the norms, the code of conduct, etc.

Dharma deals with duties and responsibilities that human beings have. This term also deals with ethics, moralities, truthfulness, etc.  It will therefore be seen that Dharma becomes the foundation for the life. Dharma acts as a regulator; it provides the frame work within which we must live.

Artha:

This is all about the wealth creation, earning money, this all about the acquisition of the property, and other material possessions, etc.  This is all about worldly prosperity. Money is an essential ingredient for survival and fulfilment of the fundamental needs of a human being.

Kama:

Kama is all about fulfilment of desires. These desires could be in multiple areas: sexual, power, recognition, comforts, good food, right homes, all types of possessions etc. The urge to enjoy pleasures and satisfy the desires, is the most powerful force within all the human beings.

Moksha:

The ultimate reason for our birth and the life we live is to attain the Moksha. This is the final liberation or Nirvana. This can happen after getting the freedom from the bondages of our deeds or our Karmas, after we conquer all our desires. Beyond moksha human beings have nothing more to attain. It is the stage where man’s cravings cease and along with that the need for further attainments also ceases. It is all about waking up of human consciousness at the highest level of reality.

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As mentioned earlier the table below establishes the linkages and may be simplifies our understanding on the interconnections between the stages of life and the Pursharthas. In our pursuit of worldly glories and pleasures some where we forget the purpose of our lives.

Phase of life	Areas for focus	Fundamental guiding force
Vidyarthi dasha. The foundational years.	Acquisition of knowledge, capabilities and skills necessary to become a strong and independent human being. Here the focus is on building the basics which will enable a person become a good citizen.	Bramhacharya Acquire knowledge Acquire capabilities Acquire skills Understand the “Dharma”
Gruhastha ashram. Life of a householde.	Pursuit of Artha and Kama. Fulfilment of worldly desires, so that you are freed to pursue the higher goal of Moksha.	Be a “Karma yogi” Support the society, build / support the institutions, Build a family, & create the progeny. Manage / control the evils illustrated below.
Wanaprastha ashram. The life of a retired individual	Give-up power, position and controls both on domestic as well as the professional front. Freedom from worldly bondages. Be available to advise, support, counsel, as required. Contributing back – selflessly to the society in the chosen areas.	Conquer the evils: Kama, krodha, moh, mad, matsar and Lobh. Do not allow new desires to enter your thoughts, preparation for Moksha.
Sanyast ashram	Spiritual practices leading to Moksha.	Bramhacharya
For all our life pursuits & to live with purpose in the four stages of life we should depend on the foundation of “Dharma”

In my next few blogs my personal reflections and understanding of the terms Dharma, Artha, Kama and Moksha are illustrated. These blog posts will be published in next few days. Keep looking for them.

Disclaimer: The picture is downloaded from Google Images.

Reflections on Retirement- Life post superannuation

As I stepped in to my fifties, the concept of retirement and the life after that was a topic that occupied my mind a lot which led me to think more on what is this concept of Retirement. As a HR professional, I must have dealt with several hundred people as they reached the age of superannuation. I must have done a lot of counselling and coaching to these people on financial planning and importance of keeping busy post retirement. However, the real meaning of the term retirement was always unclear except that, you stop working, quit your current employment and move to the next phase of life. Many definitions on what retirement is all about are available on several web sites and in several books; none of them gave me a satisfactory answer. What that next phase of life is was never clear. I always knew that retirement was not simply stopping the work but what was that new work was always unclear.

What was happening within me?

My own reflections on what was happening to me are most probably indicative of what must be happening to many people of my age group with of course some differences. These changes in me were clearly indicative of the need to change in to the next phase of life. Some changes that I experienced:

1.    Not having the same mental agility and mental stamina to do the operational tasks or routine work that I was otherwise very good at.

2.    I was losing interest in the active professional life that is full of time lines, execution schedules, pressures of performance, commitments that have to be met, etc.  

3.    Over time I developed new hobbies that are focused on physical fitness like trekking, walking, jogging, etc.

4.    I also developed new interests that are mainly spiritual in nature. I plunge a lot in these areas and therefore I am unable to keep pace with the professional reading, leading to my inability to keep professionally updated.

5.    Somewhere I was also not being diligent in my work, the way I used to be in the past which is mainly due to the lack of interest in those activities, leading to inadequate application of mind. I believe I was moving away from being details oriented person to being more holistic and strategic which is not a bad idea but without being details oriented it does not work in professional world.

6.    As I am getting older I have also realized that I was becoming more and more inclusive and open about the social, cultural, religious and political issues. The areas I was never very good at. I started taking more interest in these areas.

7.    I was however becoming more and more inflexible in the professional sphere, maybe, I was developing certain idiosyncrasies, may be developing strong opinions, etc. If not managed well, I knew it will quickly lead to my losing flexibility and adaptability that is so very crucial for the successful work life.

I guess, I was going thru a process of aging which can easily be well managed by taking up right vocations commensurate with the new interests, the new aptitude, new realities of physical fitness, and the changing times.

 I knew for sure that, time has come for me to move in to “Wanaprastha Ashram” phase. This will also mean to get disconnected from routine and just be available to family, society and the profession, if and when needed. This means longer time devoted for meditation, longer meditative morning walks, attending right sat-sang forums, participate in the discourses from the learned people, etc. coupled with right reading and discussions with the like-minded people and most importantly -  just being with myself.

Like most other Indians I did hear from the very young age the concept of the four stages of life namely:

1.    Bramhacharya Ashram or the period when you are a student,

2.    Gruhastha Ashram wherein you are a householder,

3.    Wanaprastha Ashram wherein you fade away from power, position and be available to the society and lastly

4.    Sanyast Ashram wherein you truly become a sanyasi.

I guess since so called educated people like us read a lot and can talk a lot on these topics over cocktails, I must have also done lot of talking, but I guess those were very superfluous talks without much of thinking.

I observed many of my friends and the relatives who had superannuated from their careers. The purpose was to learn from them on how to lead a life of a senior citizen. In most cases I observed that post retirement these physically and mentally fit colleagues and friends were supporting their families. In modern days the dual income families are a reality. I saw my friends supporting their grandchildren by baby sitting and management of the household of their children while the young couples were at work and the young grandchildren are at home and have to be taken care of. Most of the conversations with these senior citizens are just the same as they used to be when I was young and a new father. The topics are around school admissions, helping in the homework, problems and issues with young children, how to drop the children in to schools, need for tutions, coaching classes, how the education system is deteriorating, our times vs. new times, in some cases about diaper changing, etc. Conversations with the friends of Mugdha (my wife), are all about the old age issues of pain in the knees / back, Blood pressure and diabetes and in spite of all that, how these senior women have to manage the maids, the young grandchildren, etc. Conversations with affluent entrepreneur friends who are senior citizens are all about the succession issues, helping the young heirs succeed the division of enterprise / property, and related topics.

I quickly discovered that in reality none of my senior citizen friends had retired, actually they were doing all those things which they did as young couple. While they were young, they worked to bring up their own children and now they were working to bring up the grandchildren. I quickly discovered that presence of the grandparents in the family is no more a “highly desirable need” of the modern society but has become “must have need” thanks to the double income nuclear families. The thought of Retirement was therefore not very interesting; in fact it was frightening – I certainly did not want to do what I did 30 years back, actually what I am expected to do now is much more than what I did while I was young. Other thoughts like going on long vacations, indulging a bit in things that I never did, may be just idle around, etc. were certainly appealing but not necessarily satisfying.

While I was crossing the milestone of 60, this thought of what is retirement and what is life after that became far more predominant. This led me to do some more reading, some talking to wise people and some more introspection. Some ideas that emerged as a result of this “vichar-manthan” are illustrated below.

What is Retirement?

With the passage of time our own relevance in the professional world to which we belonged for 3 to 4 decades starts diminishing for the reasons illustrated above, which is a very natural phenomenon. As we grow older, we become better at something and start losing out on some things which we were otherwise very good at. We have to fully understand that this is a process of evolution and not necessarily aging, we have to become very comfortable with it. Intellectually I knew all this, but still, the real meaning of the term retirement was not yet clear and what do I do, after the retirement was still a big question.

Based on some interesting spiritual experiences that I went through during Pandharpur Wari, Satsang with few learned people, and some literature that I came across, the real meaning of retirement dawned on me. The Sanskrit word for Retirement is Nivrutti which means - Separated from the world. A deeper insight to the term - Nivrutta (retired person) is - he/she who has conquered the worldly or materialistic six evil tendencies like:

1. Kam – Lust, all types of Wasanas or desires
2. Krodh – Rage, anger
3. Moh / maya / mamata – attachments of all types: towards children, property, position / status, etc
4. Mad – Ego or Ahankar
5. Matsar – Envy
6. Lobh - Greed

I liked this definition of the term retirement or Nivrutti. Now, to me, the term Retirement or moving to the Wanaprastha Ashram has a completely new meaning. Now I know why our ancestors gave importance to this phase of life which is crucial before we can think of Sanyast Ashram. In this post retirement Wanaprastha phase of the life we have to remain focused on conquering these six evils that were otherwise an integral part of our lives in smaller or bigger proportion. Not an easy task, but one has to relentlessly work on this. This has to be coupled with the fulfilment of the five Runas or debts that we have.

More about these six evils of the illusionary materialistic world of maya and the five debts and the Wanaprastha ashram as understood by me in the next blogs.

Disclaimer: Some of the images in this post are downloaded from Google Images